What Happened To Personal Style?
nobody wants to have fun anymore!! and how to develop taste
A yearish or so ago (time means nothing to me anymore) there were a slew of essays on personal style (or lack thereof) and taste. At the time, I didn’t contribute because I didn’t have anything new to add to the conversation, and you can only beat a dead horse so much.
But here we are, because over the past few days, a new acronym has entered the villa:
CBK.
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and her style have been showcased on FX’s new series Love Story, which details the romance between Carolyn & JFK Jr. I haven’t yet watched Love Story & I’m not sure whether I will or not- partly because I’m wary of any Ryan Murphy production- (I realize I’m saying this while 9-1-1 is one of my favorite shows. TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE) and partly because I just don’t have the capacity in between the shows in my rewatch rotation.
That said, it almost feels like I’ve watched it thanks to the onslaught of posts I’ve seen dedicated to CBK and how to dress like her, many of which touch on her slip dresses and her quiet fashion sense and her aura and totally don’t read like ChatGPT- generated sentences. (SORRY sometimes I enjoy being a hater)1
And like, I get it. Her style was very sleek in a peak ‘90s New York kinda way, but like many have pointed out, it was the way she carried herself in the clothes that really made it work.
To quote Ross Geller (sorry again): It’s not something you are, it’s something you have.
Carolyn had her ~aura~ that carried over into the clothes she wore. I think that’s what the internet is really trying to recreate, but that’s the thing- you can’t. You have to find your own vibe, and in order to do that, you have to have a sense of who you are.
Not necessarily in the big “what is the meaning of life and why are we here” kinda way, but what you like, what your interests are, where your values lie, etc. etc. That’s how you develop taste.
One could argue that the tiktokification of microtrends and aesthetics are helpful in this pursuit, and they can be. To an extent. I think it becomes a problem when your personality becomes trying on every microtrend our feeds throw at us, hoping that this will be the one that sticks. It’s okay to appreciate someone’s style or a certain trend without needing to emulate it. I know I say this as someone who often provides ~get the look~ options in posts, so maybe I’m the pot calling the kettle black, who knows? I just think it’s easier sometimes for us to try someone else’s style on for size instead of finding our own, because what if we find out what we actually like isn’t trending?
It’s also not lost on me that this resurgence of ‘90s runway inspired fashion is coinciding with Heroin Chic 2.0: Ozempic, celebrities’ collarbones stealing their red carpet thunder, skinny everywhere. BBL? Don’t know her.2
I can’t help but wonder (Calm down, Carrie) if the reaction would be the same if Carolyn hadn’t been a tall, thin, white woman? Would there still be the essays dedicated to her timeless look? Would the CBK eBay tax exist?
I say this to say that style is not one size fits all, and it shouldn’t be.
We should start having fun with our clothes again!
Ways To Figure Out Who You Are & What You Like
Have Conversations With Friends
My friend Larisa & I love a debate. When we worked together, our lunchtimes were filled with lively debates and discussions on anything from pop culture to current world events. Sometimes these discussions were more on the silly side, (like can macaroni salad also be called pasta salad) but they were always stimulating and forced me to think more critically at times. Our conversations are still like this and I love it. Seeing something from a different perspective is always important, and being able to think critically is essential in the age of anti-intellectualism.
Keep a Running List of Things You Like (this tip is thanks to Mina Le)
This doesn’t have to include everything, obviously. But think of things that you really enjoy, things that your friends might answer with when posed with the question, “What do you associate me with?” Your vibe, something you can reference back to for inspiration.
My List:
The color pink, obviously
Espresso martinis
Coffee
Little Women (2019) (but also the book)
2000s rom-coms
Fleetwood Mac
Live music
Chloe perfume
Tuscan/ global village coffeehouse design
On that same note, shoe diva
The ocean
Vintage Moschino
Olivia Dean
Musicals
The ‘80s (fashion, design/ decor, music)
Wine (lately into white over red)
Evenings in the spring
Mary Tyler Moore
Jennifer Love Hewitt (An OG It Girl)
Fashion history
Romanticizing making dinner
Laughing with my friends
Dinner parties
Flowy dresses
Books with a friends to lovers romance3
Movie theaters (We do indeed come to this place for magic)
Lemonade in the summertime
The coastal aesthetic
Palm Springs retro
Antique malls
2000s teen dramas
Truffle fries
Ribs by Lorde
Make collages
Not on pinterest, but old school physical collages from poster board and magazine cutouts. (Libraries will usually have old magazines available to give away if you don’t have any on hand) You can have a theme in mind beforehand, or you can just cut out whatever speaks to you. Flipping through a magazine is an experience in itself, and sometimes you come across unexpected inspiration.
My friends & I do collages regularly, and it’s SO FUN. Even when we do a theme, the result always has sprinkles of our personalities.
As I get older, I’ve noticed that over time our interests tend to overlap with those of when we were younger. You could chalk it up to being nostalgic, but I think it also has to do with who we are at our core. Obviously we should always be growing and evolving, but the things our hearts beat for? I don’t think that really changes as much as we sometimes think.
And now I fear I’ve gone off track and I’m just rambling so I’ll leave you with some pretty pictures. Have fun with your clothes. <3
Would love to know some of the things on your list! Do we have any in common?? Thanks so much for reading!
stay hot & weird,
kaeleen <3
I know we’re not supposed to accuse writers of this. But sometimes it’s just so obvious!!
This also ties into the rise in conservatism, but that’s a post for a different day
Literally the trope to end all tropes. Ughhhhh the yearning!